How to Rekindle the Fire in a Relationship

When you live together under the same roof with your loved one for years, it’s no wonder the spark can start dying out. Sharing your bed, bathroom and the couch can make things rather mundane and turn the relationship into a friendship rather than a steamy love affair. What to do when the fire starts burning out? Here’s how to rekindle the fire in a relationship after you’ve been together for few years.


Don’t Stop Dating

Once you’ve established the relationship, you quickly fall into the routine of spending time in front of the TV or doing your own thing. Since you are now a couple, you don’t need to spend time going on dates, right? Well, that’s a mistake. When you spend a lot of time together and you are in a committed relationship, it’s easy to start taking the other person for granted, even when you don’t want to. To ensure this doesn’t happen, you should continue meeting each other for the first time, i.e. spend time dating. The occasional date night every week or month can help keep up the spark – you are required to make an effort and actually talk to your partner over the dinner table.

Schedule Time Together

Aside from going on dates, you need to ensure you spend enough time with your loved one. This means actively making room in your calendar for the spouse. This doesn’t mean you need to spend 30 minutes with each other religiously, but have at least three designated spots during the week when it’s just about the two of you. You can watch a movie or go for a long walk. The key is to ensure both have this spot free on their calendars and don’t fall for any other distractions during this time.

Try Something New in & out of the Bedroom

New things are always great for adding spice to your life. If you’re always doing the same things, then it can quickly turn into routine and seem boring. But if you shake things up, you can see a lot of things in a different light. Establish a situation where your partner and you will try something new each month, both in and out of the bedroom.

Out of the bedroom, this could mean trying a new dish, experiencing a new hobby such as going to ballet, or practicing a new form of sport. In the bedroom, these could be simple things like wearing new lingerie, trying out sex toys or having sex at a different time. If you are running out of ideas, check out for affordable ways to spice up your love life between the sheets.

Change the Scenery

Sometimes you both just need a break. The same routine life can quickly get to you bored, if you never experience a change of scenery. Not only is travelling a great way to take a break from the stresses of your everyday life, it can also help you see your partner in a new light. Seeing them brave the shark tank or try squid on a local fishing boat in the Pacific can make you fall in love with their heroism all over again.

Surprise your partner

Occasionally, you should also do something out of the ordinary. Surprises are great ways to show affection. If you’ve never stepped a foot in the kitchen, cook them a meal one day. Buy them a surprising gift or hide a poem to their lunchbox. Small, yet surprising gestures can have a huge impact on your partner’s mood and remind them of the many reasons they are with you.

Look After Yourself

Just as much as relationships are about looking after the other person, you can’t keep someone happy if you are not feeling well. Remember that you can’t place your own happiness on other people’s hand and sometimes you just need to focus on yourself. Make sure you eat healthy, get enough exercise and treat yourself with spa visits or new clothes. If you stay happy, you’ll be much nicer to be around and your spouse will notice the radiance within you.

Sleep together

The final point has nothing to do with getting it on, as sometimes the way to light up the fire is sleeping – literally. Do you and your partner go to bed together? If not, then it might be causing you two to drift apart. One relationship coach believes the best way to rekindle the passion is by sleeping at the same time. Spend five to ten minutes each night just talking in bed. This creates a physical connection and brings you closer to each other.

The above are a few simple ways you can keep your relationship healthy and happy. If you follow these tips, you can continue to feel the same passion and love for your partner as you did at the start of the relationship.